hey hey,

have not written a story for a long time.....

was drafting this last night.....

before i start, i gotta make myself clear,

THIS STORY IS NOT ABOUT ME; THIS IS RANDOM STORY......

Dear God,

I don't know why he called me tonight....We went out but I felt as though he was compelled... It was as though I was a thing and he was just doing his "duty"....Why did I go in the 1st place??? Why did I have to drop everything run to him??? Why must he be my 1st priority when I was neva his??? Why must I love him so much that it hurts every inch of my soul??? Why can't he understand??? I am not a thing...I happen to be a human being...I deserve to be loved....I was with him when he was down and now that he is back on the track it's time for my exit...I thought he loved me...I thought we could be together finally but I was so wrong...I just want to move away from him and everyone else... I don't wanna see, hear or talk about him or anyone else...Please give me the strength to move on in my life...I want to be happy...truly happy...I don't wanna put on my fake smile and tell the world that everything is dandy...Can I be selfish for once??? Can I put myself 1st??? Somehow I just wanna liberate myself from it all...I feel so lost in this big world....No one to call my own...I don't wanna live my life anymore....It's just so tiring....so painful to get out of bed every morning....every single day seems to be torturous....All I ever wanted was someone to call my own, a little happiness...was that too much????

I am tired of everything blowing up in my face....nothing seems to go right....I' m so tired of picking up the pieces and putting them back together....only to find the next person that comes along smashing it into pieces....

Oh God.... If you are listening, take me.....TAKE ME NOW...............